Monday

102



He is protective of her, though. And he has become dependent on her reactions and practical knowledge of the life he has been plunged into. In that sense he does need her, and his love, being that of a friend, a pet or a child, is perhaps more profound in that it is less egotistic. He does not wish to see himself reflected in her, but is entirely concerned with her own reality instead. She does not understand this with her mind, which sees him as cold and distant and unresponsive on many occasions; but another part of her feels the intensity of his preoccupation with her, so she is not – except in the calculating part of herself – unhappy with him.

If it were not for Ann, Bruno would probably roam the streets all night, talking to the outcasts he found there. It is hard to imagine that his life will be a long one in any case, given the energy he burns through this perpetual watchfulness, but he would certainly not last long out there. There are too many ways to die in space. He does not long for rest, not yet – but he does long for knowledge. For him, that is bound up with movement, and he is already turning his eyes outwards towards the stars. Before long, he will want to leave.



[Extracts from Julie’s Diary]

[Monday] … I found Ann crying in the kitchen when I went up there this morning. She said that Bruno had told her that he would be leaving soon, and she was real upset about it. To tell you the truth, so’m I. Things were going kind of well, what with me and Joseph sleeping together like an old married couple, and me and Ann having a quickie in the afternoon sometimes. I’ve even given him the odd blowjob and stuff.

She said he’d said some real crazy stuff, about how he’d got orders to go on. But they didn’t come from the link, or from anybody else – they came from Joseph’s pee-brock music. I could of told her he was crazy before, even if he is kind of nice, but she was so upset that I just hugged her and told her that it’ll be okay, and that she still had me, and all that. But it didn’t seem to help much.

Anyway, I was waiting for him when he got in this evening, and I dragged him into my room before he could run up the stairs. Joseph was playing his chanter as usual, but I motioned him to stop (he does just what I say most of

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